


Leapt to Freedom

by jujubiest



Series: SPN One-Shots [25]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Ficlet, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:53:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujubiest/pseuds/jujubiest
Summary: Castiel is one of many, and yet he is the only one who disobeyed.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: SPN One-Shots [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/177362
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Leapt to Freedom

Chuck tells the truth sometimes, when he thinks it can hurt. He told the truth to Castiel, when he said every other version of him did what they were told.

But he didn’t tell the _whole_ truth, because when does he ever?

Because there were a handful of Castiels, and a handful of Deans, not so different from our own. The Deans, they were the ones who fought hardest for Sam, humanity, every small defenseless broken thing. And the Castiels, they were the ones who felt sadness at Sodom and Gomorrah, who sympathized with Lot’s wife, who asked enough questions and hesitated enough times to get dragged under Naomi’s knife again and again. They were the ones who felt awe when they laid their hands on this human soul in Hell for the first time. Awe, and something like desire, something not meant for the likes of angels.

Most of them perished in the rescue attempt. Burned to ash in the infernal fires, Dean handed off to another angel all together, one who would never feel anything at the sight of his soul but the obligations of duty.

Some few lived only to die almost immediately after, at Alistair’s hand or Uriel’s, or, once, Anna’s. One of those confided in Dean on a park bench, after the raising of Samhain, that he was not a hammer. His questions and doubts reared up and dragged him down, extinguished him before he had a chance to follow through on them.

One or two, just one or two, lived long enough to make it to the beautiful room. To stand in front of this impossible, frustrating human being at the end of all things and think to themselves _would I rebel for this?_

One Dean never asked him to. The other asked, and that Castiel, wrenched apart inside even as he did it, said no.

Only one of them said yes, yes every time. Only one of them leaned into the inferno of Dean’s soul like it was the light of salvation. Only one of them stood in the beautiful room, and heard Dean say _we’re done,_ and thought to himself, _no, no, we aren’t, I couldn’t bear it if we were_.

Only one of them fell from grace, caught Dean Winchester’s hand on the way down, and held tight.

And the warmth of his hand felt like freedom.


End file.
